Archive for June, 2009


June 8th, 2009

S: Visiting your best friend is always the best kind of trip that you can take. My recent visit to see A was wonderful and we enjoyed ourselves, well at least until she pulled the Coq Awe Van on me. But I digress…  My trip to see her was great. But I have to say I had to travel through Nashville to get to A – she’s in Tennessee somewhere – and the problem with having some time to wait in a city airport with a theme is that you can’t enjoy your double-frickin’ bloody Mary in peace without listening to some sad live country western duo in a place that has THE WORST f’ing barbeque – Tootsie’s. Now I’m sure there are those among you that would say, “What? Tootsie’s is great, and I love me some George Strait and Trisha Yearwood.” I’m not so down on country, but after spending an entire weekend with A – all I was in the mood for was M. Manson or My Chemical Romance. So I downed the double drinks and rushed down the hall to Gibson’s –they were playing classic FM – Yes, Police, etc., and while that is not what I would choose to listen to, it helped me keep my 3rd bloody Mary and salad down without hurling.

A and I had an awesome time, and we will be blogging about the film experience. We both love action flicks and thought we would see Terminator and other such fare, but in the end – maybe due to where we found ourselves on this particular weekend – we needed to laugh. So STUPID COMEDIES to the rescue it was!

However, this blog is about traveling so I will have to discuss the movies later.

Here’s what I learned on this trip:·

-A restaurant with a picture of a Gibson guitar is safer than a restaurant with a picture of Tammy Wynette on the wall.

– If you are from Texas and you find yourself in Tennessee: Don’t eat the barbeque. Just don’t. If you do you will find yourself on the upper tier of hell.

– While having a crazy aunt named Dot is perhaps cool at Christmas, having a waitress named this is just not tolerable for a person that get’s pissed off easily.

– The secret to flying is to figure out the precise body weight/height/time/anxiety ratio to the vodka. Once you have this – you have Airport-vodka-vana. Fear is the mind killer, after all.

– When waiting for a flight and trying to get plastered, listening to Styx is much more palatable than listening to a cover of “god bless Texas,” I swear to god – and I’m from there.

– Traveling down I-40 screaming the lyrics to My Chemical Romance’s “Mama” or Squeeze’s “Tempted” is the only way to prepare to fly when you don’t like leaving the ground. I mean, when the plane takes off, I’m praying to every saint I know just trying to figure out why the hell I’m doing what I’m doing. Every cell in my brain is screaming WTF!!!!!!

– This one is for A – Salmon doesn’t taste good with a red wine/chicken broth fondue. Ask the rude bastard waiter you get to give you more chicken and skip the damn fish. Oh and I did order it dry and VERY dirty, you douche!

– It really helps to have good friends in the travel agency business. My friends Michael and Bob at Uni-Travel rock – yes thanks guys.

– Having a mother that forces you to use her AA miles to travel 1st class is a godsend.

– Flying first class is really something. Steward: Would you like something to drink?  S: Yes, give me a bloody Mary as fast as you can.  Two minutes later – Steward: Wow, somebody is thirsty – can I get you another one? S: Yes bring me the fucking drink now. S: wakes up and finds the 3rd  (I shit you not)  3rd bloody Mary sitting on the tray table. Jeez –  1st class rocks and I am now officially spoiled!!!

– Saying goodbye to your very best friend is not recommended on an empty stomach – I love you A! Thanks for lugging me around for 4 days and for the scenic drives, even though we were taking hairpin turns at 50 MPH with Arma-GDMF-geddon playing loud enough to make my eardrums burn!!!

I miss my furkids and can’t wait to get home. I had a great time and it can all be deducted from the income tax (makes me think I’m a fucking genius). I loved seeing A’s place and visiting with her mom – who I haven’t seen in a few years. AND even though she made me sit in some nameless stain on her seat – I know she loves me and that I’m welcome anytime. Well, at least I hope so.

Oh my god, are they playing Blinded by the Light? I have to close now – yes I’ll have another bloody mary, thank you mister Nashville airport waiter –

PS – if you have to wait in the Nashville airport, do yourself a favor and skip Tootsie’s and head on down to the end of Terminal C and go to Gibson’s. The waiter just noticed my drink was empty and brought me another one without asking. I would offer to have his baby if I had a working ovary somewhere – checks backpack for appropriate gonad.

Gotta go they are playing U2… fuckin A

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